The Headhog and the fox
by asds
Summary: At first glance Naruto's plan was perfect...come on ...who would be looking for a runaway bride in army barracks? Well if her superior being an asshole wasn't enough...there seems to be war coming...In other words...goddie..SasuNAru? at the end?Still open
1. Chapter 1

„ The Headhog and the fox „

„ The Headhog and the fox „

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto... If I did there would be more smex , more Itachi...hell ...he should have his own TV show...Hell I would watch it even it was a craft program...

So...If some people remember long , long ago while I still had my PC nr 2 –kun I was posting some Naruto stories...up till today I am still working on polishing my smex writing skills HELL YEAH!! .

Now about " The Headhog and the fox " It will be an AU story with a female Naruto . Yes ...I know I know the female...why the hell do I change Naruto's gender...Well...To tell you the truth for the pure sake of twisting the plot line...And making Sasuke suffer...

Chapter 1 : Prologue

" Naruto...Are you really , REALLY sure about this ? "

" Relax Shikamaru...relax...My plan is P-E-R-F-E-C-T!! „

The dark haired boy looked with doubt at his short haired blond friend riding alongside him on a red chestnut stallion .

Shikamaru released a heavy sigh.

" You...do you realize that what you are trying to pull may be accounted as a general offence ? "

Naruto looked at the boy with pure innocence written on her face.

" No ...Why ? "

"Narutooo..."

A vein throb .

" You make me tired already and we have only been traveling for 5 hours "

" Blah...Shikamaru you are starting to sound like Iruka...What...Is it really sooo importatnt that I ' addjusted' official papers a tiny little bit ..."

" By "' addjusted' official papers a tiny little bit " I presume you mean the official call papers for the royal service that Iruka has recived? "

Shikamaru looked at his friend with blank look .

The blond had the shame to feel a little bit of guilt .

" Cheee...Like I had a choice...If I hadn't done anything I would heave been married off yeasterday to that asshole Mizuki. Ugh...It still gives me the creeps...The bastard was only waiting for the moment Iruka would leave on buisness. The asshole was trying to 'force ' me into marrying him...Don't you dare do 'sigh ' on me again...I still haven't forgiven you for stopping me while I was bashing his head on the ceremonial table "

Shikamaru choose to anwser this with silence. Truth to be told he still had some scratches on him from trying to stop the blond before she killed the por bastard.

Screw that...the bastard deserved it for trying to force her hand for marriage .

But still...what she was planning...scratch that again...what she was doing ALREADY wasn't a tad bit insane ?

Shikamaru looked at his friend and did a fast callculation with his eyes.

The long blond flowing hair has been literaly choped off to hazardous spikes , her rather impressive , well shine and behold Shikamaru was a man afterall , breasts has been bound tightly by a cloth . The three whiskers marks on each of her cheeks were not concealled with any make-up. Make-up a thing Naruto had started to detest since she turned 14 and was officialy off to marriage mart and the 'marriage mamas' .

Above the whiskers were a pair of stunning blue eyes , ever changing as the sky , hidden under the mop of golden sun hair.

All in all...Shikamaru was wondering how the HELL were they going to pull this off?

Naruto noticed the grim expression on the face of his comapanion. Shw knew that she was acting selfish. Not only her life was at stake here.Shikamaru's and the Nara clan reputation was also included in the mix. But...what bloody hell other choice did she have...? To stay in that blasted village and wait till Iruka returns? Right now thatw as not an option...Plus this was finally a chance she was waiting for...A chance that she was on the same level with her skills as any other man. She didn't see herself as an obidient bride...waiting for her husband dutyfully and warming his bed when he wished.

Snort.

Yeah...right.

Just yesterday she was bashing one fuckers head into the table. Like HELL was she getting shaccked to some damn degenerated pervert with his brain split into two nuts between his legs.

Ah...at least she will have one happy memory from that incident.

Now back to the topic at hand .

Up till now all has gone according to her plans.

1.Pack and change the appearance to a male.

Oww...How happy was she to finally be once again able to wear trousers and loose briefs. Oh hapiness of simple life...

2.In subtle manner persuade Shikamaru.

Maybe not so subtle in the end, but everything for the sake of results.

3.Get to the damn place and try to stay there until Iruka returns.

Yup. He plan was foolproof. She only had to stay there until Iruka returns. Well ..if she had to stay for the longer period of time she will only flunk her end examinations and they will surerly send her off on her merry way...In that case going traveling didn't sound half bad...Plus she would have by then some cash stashed away for disposal...

" Anyway...You know that Iruka would still go into service...Even thought he knows that it would be a certain death for him now...He's not as agile as he was during the war 13 years ago and the damn man is too stubborn and proud to not anwser the call"

Naruto finished her statement with a little softer voice.

" Hm...So it comes down to it that Iruka is also half of the problem now? What do you think will happen when he returns from Sand country?"

Naruto was about to open her mouth again but her friend continued his speech .

" And NO! By coming clean of it I don't mean that stupid note that you left to you're landlord that you're going travelling and sighseeing. Naruto...Iruka is gonna have a hearth attack when he comes home. "

" Che...Anyway for now everything is ok. Come what may...Blah blah blah...I'll worry about such minor details when the time will come for them to be issued. "

Shikamau release another heavy sigh.

" Naruto...you're so damn troublesome. "

"Yeah...welll after 12 years of being together I believe you grew quiet attached to me alredy. Come on... I am irresistible after all !!Everybody diggs blondes with blue eyes!"

" Naruto...I am starting to understand WHY you failed you're matchmaking sesions so many times..."

" Damn straight I failed ...damn...and if that persistent pervert haven't jumped with the 'forced hand ' issue I would have been still failling damn...For GOD's sake I told you what is required of a bride nowadays ! That bitch Anko the matchmaker was boxing my ears for hours trying to teach me ladies decorum "

Snort and a mild glare.

Well...Shikamaru came to conclusion that Anko didn't have much success with her work this time.

" Anyhow you realise that once we reach capital and the barracks you'll be mostly on you're own. I am gonna serv under general Uchiha Itachi whille you're under Captain Uchiha Sasuke command. From what I know the Uchiha's are famous for their strictc training and high standards. Putting aside the possibility of you're being discovered you need to be able to survive in Uchiha's camp for a year . Are you sure you're up to it? "

Shikamaru turned his solemn eyes to his friend .

To find her doozing off with a bubble growing from her nose.

Sigh...

" Troublesome..."

A/N : Interested? I am writting the continuation for " From Far Away " ...so keep tuned :P


	2. Chapter 2

The Headhog and the fox

The Headhog and the fox

A/N: I am so pleased someone reviewed and said that they want more of this story I am so happy !! Gives me more motivation XD

Chapter 2

" Oh my...Oh MY...!!"

The men in the room where all glued with their eyes to one person.

Naruto said as she looked propably at the one thing each human being desired with whole of their heart.

The men around her looked at the petit looking blond boy with plump rosy lips gently being bitten , a lush blush adorring each cheek and the slightly misty ble eyes looking with such longing...If you looked closly you would see a faster raise of chest and fast inhale of breath in small gasps...

Well...Most of the other MALE guests saw that...And that was propably the reason for a rather large line forming to the loo outside the resteurant.

Shikamaru looked at his childhood friend with a loud sigh .

"Naruto...You do realise that it's only ramen...?"

Naruto looked offended at her friend .

" SHIKA!! Stop this lies!! This !! THIS!! This is the highest form of art!! Pure form of balance and flavour!! Look...Look closelly at those perfectly cut noodles"

Here for the demonstartion one noodle got slurped down. There was a look of pure satisfaction on blonds face.

" Aahhh!!Sooo Goood!!"

Exhaled Naruto in a sultry deep from her chest voice.

There could be some shouts heared in the background...Mostly asking for a 'bloody tissue ' or " Pull you're head back!!".

Shikamaru slowly started to massage his nosebridge.

" Naruto, I'll be going off for a moment. On our way here I noticed a bookstore. Gonna drop by and buy soem books. Allright? "

Naruto happily nodded her head, not stoping slurping down the ramen.

" Naruto...promise me you'll behave."

" Ohm yomn skoun Imuka " That would be distingiushed between bites and chewing while the blond looked at the opposite wall.

" Well in you're case it's necessary. Now remember – behave. I'll be back in amoment ."

Shikamaru made his way to the entrance of the bar , his leaving was accompanied by a loud shout of ' Second helping ! Mister!'

* * *

" OY! Uchiha will you please tell me why the hell do we have to patrol this damn district in civil clothes on our private time? I had this meeting with that loaded redh—"

"Inazuka. Shut up!"

That short reprimend from a pale eyed young man wearing a dark grey tunic made the other male with triangle tatoos under his eyes stop his rambling while the trio was walking down the main market street.

" But Nejiii..." he started again " It was a red head with a bust size D !!"

" And stop you're whinning " Was the court replay from Neji.

" THE HELL AM I-- "

" Silence "

There was that short dark , omnimiuos cold voice heared from the front.

And like it's written in the holy book...On the seventh day there was silence.

That is...Until they saw a huge male body flying right in front of them and landing on the opposite street wall.

And something shiny dropped in front of Sasuke's feet.

Kiba gave a low whistle.

" Uhhhh ..That gotta hurt "

The dark haired man with spiked hair in the back took the situation slowly inn as he bend down to pick up the shiny object. It looked like there was another uproar made by some drunk cadet...

Well, well...The shiny object turns out to be the segregation pin for his unit.

He looked at the enormous beaten red something currently being plastered to the wall..He could feel a headache coming already...

" AND I SWAER TO GOD THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU'RE SORRY UGLY ASS HERE I WILL BASH YOU'RE FACE SO HARD THAT YOU'RE OWN MOTHER WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU!"

Scratch that. The headache had come in all it's might and glory.

Uchiha's didn't like headeaches.

Headache made Uchiha's moody.

A wild pack of wolf's on rampage where like a litter of puppies when compared to a moody Uchiha.

He was still saying his inner mantra in his head to stay calm that he didn't even pay attention to Kiba's chocked voice " You've got to be kidding me".

" Excuse me... I believe that's pin's mine"

A melodious voice not to deep dpoke to Sasuke who opened his eyes and looked into the eyes of...

A midget.

Blue eyed , blond haired midget.

END CHAPTER 2

A/N : Review!! There is some blood coming in next chapter XD!! So please give me motivation  for faster updates 


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